Sides

Chantilly Potatoes
it shouldn't work, but it does

Crab Rangoon
if crabs had edible shells

Deviled Eggs
it's in the details

Escargot
it's snails in compound butter. you'll love 'em.

Fondant Potatoes
it has many steps and ingredients, so you know you're getting a good deal

French Onion Soup
this is french onion soup

Mozzarella Puffs
all the beedubs cheese sticks, way less regret

Potatoes Romanoff
everything you ever wanted in a mashed potato

Sausage Cheese Balls
70s housewife cookbook special, shockingly addictive

Scotch Eggs
they're actually english or possibly indian

 

Mains

Beef Stroganov
french for beef made for russian aristocrats

Beef Wellington
english for beef.  going to need days of advance notice.

B.L.T. Pasta
if you think that some sandwiches should be pasta instead

Boeuf Bourguignon
if you make beef stew and put red wine in it, it's french and now you get to call it boeuf bourguignon

Bulgogi Beef
korean for beef

Canard a l'orange
french for duck

Cashew Cream Chicken
vaguely indian for chicken

Chateaubriand
the matrix is telling you that it's juicy and delicious

Chicken and Sausuge Gumbo
the difference between cajun and creole is pretty much just some tomatoes

Chicken Marsala Milanese
southern italian northern italian fusion

Chicken Strudel
it's better than it sounds

Coq au Vin
haha! cock. more likely poulet au vin since rooster isn't sold in grocery stores anymore

Coquilles St. Jacques
french for scallops

Crevette Etouffee
creole for shrimp

Duck Adobo
if you're into salt and vinegar chips, you're into this

Duck Fesenjan
iranian for duck

Hungry Mick TV Dinner
it's actually pretty good

Jambalaya
newman!

Lasagna
italian for heart attack

Moco Loco
hawaiian for hamburger

Paella
spanish for shrimp

Ping Gai
laotian for chicken

Pollo a la Crema
spanish for chicken

Porchetta
pork tenderloin wrapped in bacon.  it's not kosher.

Pork Agrodolce
i have no words

Pozole Rojo
it's the best taco you ever had, if that taco were a soup

Reuben Night
it's reubens

Risotto
rice and mushrooms and cream and awesome

Rindfleisch Rouladen
literal translation: cow flesh rollups

Saltimbocca
yeah, so i make it with chicken, shut up!

Shepherd's Pie
me and jenny was like peas and carrots

Steak Diane
watch out for your eyebrows

Taco Night
it's tacos

Order off menu?
we can talk, what are you feeling?

 

Dessert

cheesecake
creme caramel
tiramisu

 

Cocktails

name it

 

Beer & Wine

no guarantees other than whatever you bring